Promise of Forever
by Ecanus
Summary: Takes place directly after the last scene of new moon. Jacob and Bella's relationship is on the line. What will Bella's decision be? Total Jacob/Bella ***please review***
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own any part of the twilight series, this story may contain exact excerpts from the twilight books or movies which I also do not own. **

Chapter 1

_Jacob (in wolf form)_

I just kept running. What else could I do? I felt like my heart had been torn away from my chest. Bella's words kept flashing through my mind.

"_I love you Jake…please don't make me chose…because it will be him." _And Cullen standing there so smug he had won. I snarled…the very thought of him made the hair on my back stand on end.

"How could she do this to me," I thought to myself, "after all that we had been through."

I remembered years ago when we were just kids, before she left Forks with her mother.

_Flashback_

_It was just after Charlie and Renee's divorce. My father had stopped by to say goodbye. Even though he was Charlie's friend he was fond of Renee and was sorry to see her go. I remembered seeing Bella sitting on the stoop staring out into nothing as we pulled into the drive way. She looked so sad that it made me want to cry. Bella and I were best friends then. She was nine years old and I was eight. As soon as my father put the truck in park I had jumped from the passenger side, headed over to Bella and sat down beside her. _

"_Hey Bella," my dad said, "is your mom still inside?" Bella looked up at him and nodded. My father smiled at her apologetically._

"_Hey don't worry kid…everything will be okay." He headed into the house. Bella rolled her eyes after he disappeared in the door frame. _

"_Why does everyone keep saying that," she mumbled almost to herself, "it's kind of annoying." I shrugged. _

"_I guess they feel bad," I replied, "I guess they just want you to be okay."_

"_Okay," she sighed, "how is anything supposed to be okay." She brought her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms tightly around them making herself look so small._

"_It's not fair," she said suddenly, "I feel like I am being punished."_

"_For what," I asked grinning slightly. She shrugged._

"_I don't know," she replied. She was staring at the ground. She had not looked up since I sat down. I could see her eyes watering up and I knew she was fighting herself to keep from crying. That was just Bella, always putting on a brave face when she was hurting most. I had memorized the expression. She had displayed it after the many arguments that Charlie and Renee had. Her parents fighting tore her apart inside but she never cried. I reached over to her and placed my arm around her shoulder._

"_It's okay," I said. She shot me a look of anger. _

"_I'm sorry," I replied taking my arm back quickly, "I didn't know what else to say." She nodded letting me know it was okay. I glanced back into the doorway._

"_You know they won't be done here for a while," I said glancing at her from the corner of my eye, "Why don't we go for a walk or something?" She didn't answer me. I stood up and turned to her._

"_Come on," I said stretching my hand out before her. She looked at me and smiled slightly almost as if she were fighting herself not to smile. _

"_Please," I continued. She put her hand in mine and I pulled her upwards. _

"_Where do you want to go," she asked. _

"_I don't know," I shrugged, "how about the playground?" She shrugged back._

"_Okay." She turned back to the front door of her house and opened it slightly. _

"_Mom…Dad…I'm going to the playground with Jake," she yelled into the house. She didn't wait for an answer. She grabbed my hand and we headed down the road. We didn't talk. I didn't mind the silence. I didn't know what to say to her without sounding like everyone else. She seemed to hate it when people apologized for her parent's divorce. As if what they said made a difference anyway, as if any of it could ever make things okay for her. I shoved my hands in my pockets and looked over at her. She seemed to be thinking deeply about something. I turned my attention back to the road ahead. I hadn't really thought about what was going to happen after the divorce. I didn't really think about how Bella's life was going to change. As we walked toward the playground, like we had so many times before, I began to realize that it might be the last time that we would ever hang out. I frowned at that thought. _

_Charlie and my father had been friends since they were teenagers. They grew up together. It seemed like the natural order of things that their children would become friends and grow up together. But now that Renee was leaving and taking Bells with her all of that was going to change. _

_We arrived at the playground and headed over toward the swings. One of our favorite things to do was to have contests to see who could swing the highest. I took a swing and Bella took the one next to me. We didn't swing though we just sat there. I was dragging my toes in the dirt. I was pretty short then and my toes just barely reached the ground. I was wringing my hands on the chains. Bella just stared ahead. _

"_It's not fair," Bella broke the silence, "I don't want to move." I glanced over at her. I could see her eyes watering up again. This time I could feel mine watering up too._

"_I like it here," Bella continued, "I won't have any friends in Arizona." I reached out, took her hand in mine and squeezed it tightly. She looked up at me._

"_I don't want you to move either," I replied softly, "you are my best friend." Bella squeezed my hand back and gazed at me sadly. _

"_Come here," I said as I jumped down from the swing. I grabbed hold of her hand and pulled her in my direction. I walked over to a nearby evergreen tree. She looked at me curiously as we stood in front of the old tree. I smiled slightly and pulled my pocket knife out of my back pocket._

"_What are you doing Jake," she asked me. _

"_You'll see," I replied. I opened the blade and carved a diagonal arrow into the bark of the evergreen. I turned to her and handed her the knife. She looked at me as if I had two heads. _

"_What do you want me to do," she asked._

"_You carve an arrow," I chuckled, "carve an arrow crossing mine."_

"_Why," she asked. I rolled my eyes._

"_Just do it," I replied impatiently. She furrowed her brow questioningly._

"_Come on," I said, "I will tell you why after wards."_

_She turned to the tree and carved an arrow into the bark of the old tree._

"_There," I said, "now we will be friends forever no matter what." She smiled slightly. I smiled back at her. _

"_The crossed arrows are a sign of friendship," I continued, "no matter how far apart we are you will always be my best friend and I will always be yours."_

"_You promise Jake," she asked._

"_I promise," I replied._

"_I promise too," she replied. Suddenly she leaned toward me and kissed me on the cheek._

_End Flashback_

We had made a promise to stay friends forever; that no matter what happened in our lives we would always have each other. I didn't know how that was possible now that she had chosen to be with Cullen, my mortal enemy. The thought of them together made me furious. I could feel a torrent of rage ripping through my body. I wanted to kill something. I wanted to kill Cullen. I growled furiously in frustration. I was bound by the treaty. Even if I wanted to, I couldn't touch a hair on the bloodsucker's head unless he broke the treaty. Sam the alpha made sure that everyone in the pack adhered to the treaty. It was more then that though. I had promised Bella that I would never hurt her. Killing Cullen would be breaking that promise. I knew that if I ever came after that filthy bloodsucker, she would never forgive me. I slowed my pace as my mind focused on her. I loved her, I knew it. There was nothing I could do to stop loving her. It tore my heart to shreds when she chose him over me. I stopped and sat down upon my haunches and howled painfully into the night sky.

* * *

_Bella_

I was quiet for the rest of the car ride. I sat back in the fake leather of the passenger side seat gazing out the opened window. I breathed in the sweet night air as the wind brushed past my face. It was a warm summer night and the breeze felt nice. I glanced over at Edward. He seemed focused on the road ahead. I turned back to the open window and gazed into the darkened woods.

"I should be happy," I kept thinking to myself, "I should be happy he came back." Edward had admitted that he lied, admitted that he still loved me. I should have been happy, but my mind kept drifting back to Jacob. I was eternally grateful in this moment that Edward could not read my mind. There was no telling what he would think or do if he knew what I was thinking. I thought back to the many months that Edward had been gone. I felt so alone and heartbroken. I didn't know how to exist without him. He was like a lifeline keeping me alive. Without him I felt dead inside. All I had wanted was to curl up into a ball and disappear. I had initially enlisted Jake's help to fix the motorcycles in an attempt to conjure up the ghost of Edward. I had taken risk after risk just to see his face but something unexpected had happened in the process. Jake and I had reconnected. I had begun to feel happy again. I began to feel healed. Every day I found myself looking forward to seeing Jacob's face more and more. Jake wanted me to choose. I knew that he did, but I didn't know how to do that. I loved Edward…but I loved Jake too. I didn't want to hurt either of them. If I chose Jake then Edward would leave. I knew he would.

The choice was impossible. Now that Jake was a werewolf, everything seemed impossible. I would have given everything to have them both with me and happy. I wanted to spend my life with Edward but still keep my best friend Jake. The two men I loved most were mortal enemies. No matter what I chose, one or the other would be hurt. As I sat contemplating my impossible decision, I suddenly heard a loud howl echoing through the trees. I turned my head quickly and scanned the forest, but I could see nothing. I sat back in the seat and turned to Edward. He glanced over at me with a strange expression displayed upon his face. It was as if he had just thought of something very troubling, or perhaps he had heard someone else's troubled thoughts.

"What," I asked curiously, "what's wrong?" He furrowed his brow and then turned back to the road.

"Nothing," he replied, "it's nothing."

"Is it Jake," I asked almost frantically, "was it him howling just now?" Edward turned to me again. He paused for a moment and then nodded slightly.

"What did you hear," I asked. Edward pulled off to the side of the road and brought the truck to a halt. He looked away from me.

"He wants to kill me," he replied. My heart froze suddenly. Had I hurt Jake so badly that he would murder Edward?

"But he won't…," Edward went on.

"Because of the treaty," I interrupted. Edward shook his head.

"Because of you," he replied.

"Me," I replied. Edward nodded. He looked away from me again.

"Is there something else," I questioned. Edward nodded.

"Sadness," he replied.

To be continued…..


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

_Jacob_

I woke up in the forest. I must have phased sometime during the night, though I could not remember doing so at all. I lay upon the soft grass in my human form. The sunlight trickled down through the canopy of trees warming my skin. I lay there for a while just gazing up into the sky. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes tightly once again. The air was warm and smelled sweet like honeysuckle. I opened my eyes again and exhaled slowly. I sat up groggily. My head was throbbing and the pain in my chest was still unrelenting. I glanced around trying to decipher where I was exactly. I sniffed the air again and found that I was still in Forks, not far from Bella's house.

"Bella," I thought to myself sadly. I could feel tears beginning to form in my eyes. Even the thought of her was too much to bear. I quickly brought my hand to my face and wiped them away before they had the chance to fall. I stood up and began to walk. I wasn't focused on the direction I was heading in. I just kept walking. I felt so empty inside I felt like a creature in a bad Zombie movie. There was no good reason to exist and yet here I was still here, walking aimlessly, devoid of a soul. I knew in the very back of my mind that I should probably head home. My father and the rest of the pack were probably getting concerned with my absence. The pack most likely already knew where I was. They had been calling to me all night long but I would not answer them and after a while they stopped. I didn't want to be around anyone right now.

My thoughts once again drifted to Bella. We had grown very close in the past year. We were together nearly everyday until that bloodsuc…I stopped myself in mid thought. I smelled something familiar in the air, a sweet aroma that brought warmness to my heart but was immediately and inevitably followed by a deep ache. She was close by. I realized then that all this time I had been walking in the direction of her house. I closed my eyes tightly and took a deep breath. Visions of her flashed wildly through my mind. I could see her dark eyes, her long brunette hair, that beautiful smile that lit up the room. She was absolutely perfect…even if she didn't think so. My heart was aching at the thought of her. All I wanted was to be near her to touch her…to hold her. I sighed heavily. She was everything to me. Why couldn't she see that?

I opened my eyes and continued on. I found myself at the edge of the woods before long. I stopped and gazed ahead through the trees. The road was just a few feet away and just beyond it I could see the front of Bella's house. I stood there gazing at it as if in a trance. She was so close and yet as I gazed at her house I felt as if I were standing on the other side of a huge canyon. I missed her so much. I glanced up to her bedroom window. I thought back to the night I tried to tell her the truth about what I was.

_Flashback_

"_Why don't you leave here Jake, go somewhere where Sam can't get to you…we can run away…just you and me."_

"_You would do that for me," I questioned._

"_For you I would," she replied. I wanted to say yes…every fiber of me was screaming yes and it took almost every ounce of my strength to say no to her. Looking back I wished I had._

"_As much as I would love to run away with you Bella…I can't." I pulled her into a tight hug. It killed me to see the worry on her face. I wanted so badly to tell her the truth. Not being able to say it, ripped my heart out._

"_Don't worry Bella," I said softly as I ran my fingers through her silky hair. I then cradled her face in the palms of my hands and pulled her closer to me. _

"_You can figure this out…just try to remember." I leaned forward my lips barely touching hers. I gazed into her dark brown eyes. I should have kissed her in that moment. I should have…but I didn't._

_End flashback._

"Dad," I heard her calling to her father. Her voice made my heart freeze.

"Dad…I'm going for a walk okay." The door opened and she stepped outside. She was beautiful. I longed so badly to go to her…but I kept myself hidden among the trees. Just then Charlie ran out the door after her.

"Bella," he replied firmly, "you're grounded if you haven't forgotten." She turned toward him.

"Dad I just wanted…"

"I don't want to hear it Bells," he interrupted, "get in this house."

"Dad please," she replied in what sounded like defeat, "I just feel a little cooped up…I just need some fresh air." Charlie sighed heavily and crossed his arms over his chest.

"How do I know what you are doing Bella," he said sternly, "how do I know you won't disappear like last time."

"I won't…I'm not," she sighed heavily turning her eyes to the ground. She looked back up at her father.

"I know you don't trust me," she replied softly, "things are just weird right now." She paused.

"Difficult, you know," she continued, "all I do is think about stuff…and I just needed a break you know…a distraction." Charlie pulled her into a tight hug.

"You plan on going far," he questioned. She shook her head.

"The playground and back," she said as if asking a question. Charlie nodded.

"One hour," he said firmly. Bella nodded.

"Thanks dad."

I watched as she headed down the road. I followed her from the woods, hidden amongst the trees. Every fiber of my being longed to be next to her, I wanted to hold her hand. I wanted so badly to tell her that I loved her... that I needed her.

_Bella_

I took a walk to clear my head. There were so many things on my mind. For so long I had wanted things to be back to normal…how they were before Edward left. Now that he had returned, I began to realize that things could never be as they were before. The pain I had endured when he was gone was too great. Even though he had come back to me, I couldn't help but feel incomplete somehow. It was as if the part of me that died when he left could not be resurrected. I sighed heavily as I continued down the road. It was a beautiful day for once, sunny and warm. It was unusual for Forks but it was nice for a change. Edward never came around on days like this. His sparkling marbled skin would be quite obvious in the bright sunlight. I realized in that moment that I would probably never be able to enjoy taking a walk with him on bright summer day…we would never be able to spend a day at the beach like normal people. It was a little sad, actually that we would miss out on simple little things like that. I stopped a moment and gazed up into the clear blue sky letting the cool breeze brush past my face. I closed my eyes as I felt the sun's warm rays on my pale skin. I suddenly heard a branch break from within the woods. My heart froze for a moment. I turned immediately and peered in through the trees. I could see nothing. I shrugged it off and continued walking.

"Probably just a rabbit," I muttered to myself. I could not however shake the feeling that I was not alone…as if someone or something were watching me. My heart rate increased slightly. I was sure I was being paranoid but it made me nervous all the same. Anything could be lurking in the shadows. It could be Victoria for one, or assassins from the Volturi or the Quileutte werewolves.

I was sure Jacob would never allow another werewolf to harm me. They were protectors after all. The only thing they killed was vampires…right. Of course I might be considered a traitor now…a friend to the cold ones, perhaps a threat to the Quileutte. I quickly banished these thoughts. There was no way my life was in jeopardy from werewolves. Even though Jake might be angry with me right now, I knew that he would never allow anyone to hurt me.

"Jacob," I whispered. My mind drifted back to my best friend I thought back to the night at the movies.

_Flashback_

_Mike had run to the bathroom after the gory movie had turned his stomach. Jacob and I, feeling bad for the poor guy, followed him out of the theater. _

"_I think you should hold out for someone with a stronger stomach," Jacob joked, "someone who laughs at the movies that make other men vomit." I giggled at his comment. He then took my hand gently in his. It made me feel nervous, but at the same time felt completely normal. I wanted to hold his hand, it felt comfortable and warm. His touch was soft and gentle. I pulled my hand away gently trying to be inconspicuous about it. _

"_What I can't hold your hand," he questioned me immediately. I didn't know what to say to him. I was afraid not only of what it meant to him but what it meant to me. I was afraid of needing him even though I already felt like I could not survive without him._

"_I know that he hurt you Bella," his words were soft and gentle, "I promise I will never hurt you…I won't give up…and I will never let you down."_

_I gazed into his dark eyes. I knew he meant every word._

_End Flashback_

I missed him terribly.

To be continued…


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

_Bella_

I had been so lost in my memories that I hadn't realized how far I had walked already. I looked up to see the old playground before me. Jacob and I had spent most of our time here when we were children. Visions of him and I swinging and laughing flashed through my mind. I smiled slightly in spite of the ache that the memories brought to my heart. I wished now that I could go back to that time. Everything was easy then, there were no complications then. I missed those far off times. I missed Jacob.

The playground looked as though it hadn't been used in a couple years. Being in the age of video games and text messaging, I guessed kids had no desire to play outdoors anymore. I walked over to the old and rusted swing set. I sat down on one of the old swings carefully. With my luck the chains would be so rusted through that they would snap under my weight and I would fall and break my leg or maybe cut myself and get tetanus or something. I sat there quietly, swaying slightly. I glanced over at the empty swing beside me. I reached over to it and pushed it causing it to rock back and forth. I started to swing on my own, keeping pace with the empty swing beside me. A memory of Jake and I having our old swinging contests flashed through my mind. I could almost see his smiling face…hear his infectious laugh. We had been inseparable then. Our fathers used to joke that we were two halves of the same stone. It was rare to find one of us without the other close by; up until the day I left Forks with my mother anyway.

My mind drifted back to the day that we said goodbye. In spite of our young age, he had shown such tenderness toward me even then. I remembered him holding my hand tightly in his as we sat here on these very swings. I remembered feeling heartbroken that I was being forced to leave not just the only home I had ever known but also my one true friend, my best friend. I didn't know how I was going to exist without being able to see him every day as I had become so accustomed to his presence in my life. I closed my eyes tightly and exhaled the breath I had unknowingly been holding in my lungs. It was as if Jacob and I had come full circle our fates forcing us apart once more but this time because of our own choices…my choice. I could feel my stomach tying up in knots at this thought. I had been the one to turn my back, I had broken the promise we had made so many years ago. I could feel tears welling up behind my eyes. I loved Edward it was true but loosing Jake made me feel lost, as if a large part of my life was ending.

"_I don't want you to move…you are my best friend." _His words flashed through my mind. I remembered our promise. I turned around to see if our tree was still there. I smiled slightly when I saw the old evergreen, it looked bigger then I had remembered. I wondered if our carving was still there or if it had been worn away by time. It had been nearly ten years since we carved the crossed arrows into the rough bark…ten years since we had made our promise to be there for each other always and forever. I got up and headed in the direction of the tree. I don't know why but I felt that if I could just see that the arrows still existed that somehow everything would work out…that eventually, perhaps, Jake would forgive me and then our friendship despite the circumstances would prevail. I could hear his words like it was yesterday.

"_There…now we will be friends forever…no matter what" _

"No matter what," I whispered to myself. But when I got to the tree my heart dropped like a stone to the bottom of my stomach. The crossed arrows were still there, but now they had been crossed out by massive claw marks. I gasped and covered my mouth with my hand. I could feel tears welling up in my eyes. I felt as if I had been punched in the stomach. I brought my other hand to the tree trunk and ran my fingers along the deep gashes embedded in the wood. The marks had been made recently as the sticky sap still oozed from the cuts and I could smell the sweet aroma fresh cut pine.

"How could he do this," I thought to myself desperately.

* * *

_Jacob_

I stood among the trees watching her from a distance. She was sitting in one of the old swings, swaying back and forth slightly. She seemed to be thinking deeply about something. I wondered if it had anything to do with me. She was, after all, back at the old playground where we used to play when we were little. I wondered why she had felt the need to come back here after everything that had happened. I wondered if she would even think about the promise we had made to each other so many years ago. Suddenly I flashed back to the events of the night before.

_Flashback_

_(Jacob in wolf form)_

_I was so angry, so furious that she had taken Cullen back after all that he had put her through, all the danger he had put her in and she was still in. I had come to this playground because I was consumed by her. I longed for the closeness we had shared. The crossed arrows in the evergreen tree was the only reminder left of our friendship. It was proof that our friendship was real and true no matter what happened. But when I saw the arrows still evident in the trunk of the tree I had become enraged. I was so angry that Cullen had taken her from me…had turned her against me. He didn't even know her the way that I did…love her the way that I do. I couldn't bear to look at the carvings any longer I slashed the tree with my sharp claws in anger and frustration. It didn't matter anymore. She had made her choice. Our friendship was over and so was any chance of my telling her how I truly felt about her. It was too late to tell her that I was in love with her. _

_End flashback_

As I watched her from the shadows, I saw her look to her side. She gazed at the empty swing beside her and frowned slightly. She reached her hand out to the swing, pushed it lightly and then watched as it rocked back and forth. She then turned and gazed behind her in the direction of our tree. She stood from the swing and walked closer to the old evergreen. My heart froze. Suddenly I was afraid of what her reaction would be when she saw what I had done. She moved slowly as if she were afraid to look. She stopped just in front of the tree and then I saw it, the expression of horror upon her face. She gasped and stumbled backwards a few steps. My heart fell to the bottom of my stomach as I watched her reaction. She reached out slowly and ran her fingers across the deep gashes I had left behind in the wood. She pulled her hand away quickly as if it were hot to the touch. She fell to her knees suddenly and grasped her stomach tightly as if she were in pain.

"Bella," I whispered softly to myself. I wanted to run to her, put my arms around her and tell her that everything would be okay. I wanted to tell her that I didn't mean what I had done but I stopped myself. She made her choice…didn't she? And after this I was sure that she would never want to see me again. I gazed at her longingly, I could see now that she was crying uncontrollably. I cursed myself under my breath; it was killing me to know that I had hurt her this way. I closed my eyes tightly and took a deep breath.

"She made her choice," I reminded myself, "she chose him." I could feel tears welling up behind my eyes. She _had_ made her choice but I still loved her and it broke my heart to see her this way. I stepped cautiously away from the tree line and began to walk in her direction. I needed to talk to her, I needed to explain. I needed to tell her the truth regardless of her reaction, regardless of her decision.

To be continued...


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

This song is my inspiration for this chapter.

Disclaimer I do not own '_**Say goodbye'**_ it is the property of _Skillet._

**Say Good bye**

**By Skillet**

Things are changing

It seems strange and

I need to figure this out

You've got your life

I got mine

But you're all I cared about

Yesterday we were laughing

Today I'm left here asking

Where has all the time gone now?

I'm left here alone somehow

Growing up and getting older

I don't want to believe it's over

Don't say goodbye

Cause I don't wanna hear those words tonight

Cause maybe it's not the end for you and I

And although we knew

This time would come for me and you

Don't say anything tonight

If you're gonna say goodbye

Do you remember?

In December

How we swore we'd never change

Even though you're leaving

That our feelings

Would always stay the same

I wish we could be laughing

Instead of standing here asking

Do we have to end this now?

Can we make it last somehow

We both know what we've gotta say, not today

Cause I don't wanna leave this way

Don't say goodbye

Cause I don't wanna hear those words tonight

Cause maybe it's not the end for you and I

And although we knew

This time would come for me and you

Don't say anything tonight

If you're gonna say goodbye

And if it's over

It hurts but I'm giving you my word

I hope that you're always

Happy like we were

Don't say goodbye

Cause I don't wanna hear those words tonight

Cause maybe it's not the end for you and I

And although we knew

This time would come for me and you

Don't say anything tonight

If you're gonna say goodbye

* * *

_Bella_

I was crying so hard that my throat had begun to ache. I couldn't stand the thought of losing Jacob. I couldn't bare the thought that I had hurt him so badly that he would turn his back on me this way. I didn't know what to do. I loved Jake he was my best friend. He had always been there for me, had never let me down and I just threw him away. I turned my back on him after everything he had done for me, after everything we had been through. Jacob had been the only one able to save me (literally) from myself. I had been drowning in my pain after losing Edward but Jake pulled me out brought me back to life and brought me a happiness that I thought I would never feel again…

"Bella," a familiar voice interrupted my thoughts. I turned to see Jake standing beside me. I gazed at him for a long moment unsure if I was hallucinating.

"What are you doing here," I asked quietly.

"I'm sorry," he replied flatly. I quickly wiped the tears from my eyes and got back on my feet. Jacob looked terrible, I could see his eyes were red and watery and that sunny disposition that I had come to know and love was totally absent. He stepped forward coming closer to me and reached his hand out to touch my shoulder. I stepped back quickly. He smirked slightly as he dropped his arm to his side and glared at me unemotionally.

"Do you hate me this much," I asked my voice cracking slightly.

"Hate you," he replied questioningly.

"Do you hate me so much that you would do this…break our promise?"

"Bella," he started.

"You promised you would never hurt me," I yelled, "you promised…"

"I don't hate you Bella," he yelled back, "I hate Cullen, I hate this whole situation, I hate that you chose him over me!" He stepped back a few steps suddenly.

"Jake," I began.

"Stop Bella," he yelled, "just stop!" I had never seen him so distraught I could see that he was trying to control himself trying to keep from phasing again.

* * *

_Jacob _

I stepped back from her as I tried to get in control of my anger. I turned quickly away; I would never forgive myself if I ever hurt her because I lost control. I closed my eyes tightly and took a deep breath. I could feel the rage settling down.

"I don't hate you Bella," I repeated trying desperately to remain calm. I turned back to face her.

"Then why did you do this," she asked motioning to our tree, "why would you intentionally hurt me like this?"

"You hurt me first," I snapped back. I gazed at her watching the tears streaming down her face. My heart was breaking to see her like that. I felt as though I was being torn apart inside. I just wanted to hold her in my arms and forget about everything that had happened, kiss her softly and tell her everything was going to be okay.

"Listen to me Bella," I said coming closer to her. I gazed into her dark eyes. I brought my hands to her face and pulled her closer to me. To my surprise she did not pull away.

"I don't hate you," I repeated, "I could never hate you." I leaned forward resting my forehead against hers. She gazed up at me her eyes full of hurt.

"But we can't be friends any more…right," she said her voice faltering slightly. I reluctantly shook my head. A sudden expression of pain came upon her face.

"Jake," she sobbed, "I don't want to lose you!"

"Why," I questioned as I gazed hopefully into her eyes.

"You are my best friend," she replied, "I need you." I dropped my hands from her face and turned away from her.

"No you don't," I replied.

"Yes I do Jake," she replied, "I'd be lost without you." I chuckled softly to myself in spite of the serious conversation.

"No Bella," I repeated my voice becoming firm, "you don't need me."

"Jake," she began.

"Cause if you did then you wouldn't have chosen to be with Cullen," I spat the words through gritted teeth.

"That's not fair," she nearly whispered to herself.

"Fair," I yelled, "what exactly is your idea of fair Bella…taking Cullen back and keeping me on the sidelines so that the next time he leaves you I'll be there to pick up the pieces!"

"Jacob…" Bella began again.

"You can't have us both," I said as I glared in her direction.

"Please Jake," Bella sobbed, "don't give up on me; don't turn your back on me." I gazed at her longingly, pain immediately taking over my chest.

"I haven't," I replied, "You gave up on me…you turned your back on me when you chose to go back to him."

"So what," she yelled back at me, "we can't be friends because I am with Edward...why because of your treaty, because of your loyalty to the pack, because he's your enemy…am I your enemy too?"

"If you think I would stay away from you because of the treaty, the pack or even that filthy bloodsucker," I replied in frustration, "then you don't know me at all Bella!"

"Then why," she sobbed. I came close to her once again. I gazed into her dark eyes longingly, trying desperately to hold my emotions back."

"I don't want to be friends anymore Bella," I replied softly. I could feel myself trembling and tears began to well up behind my eyes as I spoke. I reached up and gently caressed her soft cheek with the back of my hand.

"Don't you understand," I continued, "it's not enough anymore." I leaned closer to her resting my forehead lightly upon hers.

"I love you," I choked out the words, "you are everything to me...and I can't…I won't watch you with him…it hurts too much."

"Jacob…I…"

"Don't say it," I interrupted her again, "I know your decision…I accept it…but I can't hear you say it."

"Jake…" she began again. I pressed my lips firmly to hers before she could continue. I wrapped my arms around her slender waist and held her tightly against me. I lost myself in the moment, all the feelings I had for her took control of me. I wanted this moment with her to last forever. I had never needed someone so much as I needed her now.

She was everything to me, holding her I felt complete, whole, as if she were a part of my soul. I would have devoted my life to her in that moment…if only she would let me. I pulled away reluctantly. I couldn't lose control like this. I couldn't allow myself to need her so much. She didn't want me…she wanted Cullen.

"Bella," I breathed heavily, "I…I have to go." I turned from her quickly and started to walk away. She grabbed my hand stopping me.

"Wait," she whispered.

"I can't," I whispered back, "Not anymore...I need to go. I was fighting back tears as I spoke. I violently ripped my hand from her grasp and continued to walk away from her. It took all of my strength to keep myself from turning around.

"Nayeli," I whispered in Quileute under my breath. I transformed back into my wolf form and ran into the woods without looking back.

_To be continued_….


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

_Bella's dream sequence_

_I found myself walking through the dark cold forest. I was searching for something…someone. I wasn't sure why, but I felt as if time were running out as if something horrible would happen if I didn't find what I was looking for. Just then I heard the sound of something moving in the brush behind me. I glanced back anxiously squinting as I peered into the darkness. I could see nothing. I turned back and continued walking, quickening my pace slightly. Suddenly I heard a howl off in the distance; my heart froze at the sound. I forged ahead I was getting closer. As I continued I once again heard movement behind me. I stopped and glanced back once again. There was nothing there but I could not help but to feel as if I were being followed. I turned back to my path and began to run. As I continued I could hear what sounded like a herd of elk running through the trees behind me. I could feel my heart beginning to pound in my chest. They were coming. They were coming and I knew I could not out run them. I flew through the trees as fast as my human legs would allow, tears began to stream down my face. _

"_Not like this," I thought to myself frantically, "please god; don't let it end like this." _

_The howling grew louder as I continued to run and seemed like it was getting closer. My heart grew hopeful at the sound, I was almost there. I could still hear the movement behind me I glanced back as I continued to run. Without warning I ran right into something hard. I was knocked off my feet and lay upon the ground dazed for a moment. I sat up slowly and attempted to get to my feet. But as I tried to stand I became dizzy and my vision was hazy. I looked up and saw a blurry outline of a boy with russet skin standing over me. I closed my eyes tightly in an attempt to clear my vision. When I opened them up again I could see the boy was now kneeling beside me. He rested his hand gently upon the side of my neck. His skin was so hot it felt as if it were burning my own._

"_They are coming," I said, "We have to get out of here." I could still hear the feet pounding on the ground in the distance it was getting louder. I looked backward. My vision was clearer now and I could see them vividly, their white faces glistening in the moonlight, their black eyes fixed on me. I turned back to the boy, I recognized him now. He was standing again and looking down at me. His expression was cold but at the same time seemed full of unbearable pain. He slowly began to back away from me. _

"_Please," I pleaded, "don't leave me." He kept silent and continued to back away._

"_Jacob," I pleaded._

_Suddenly I was pulled forcefully upward._

"_No," I cried, "no." The cold hands felt like icy steel on my skin. The fingers tightened like a vice on my arm. I gazed at my friend desperately. His eyes looked watery and red as if he had been crying. _

"_You want this," Jacob said, "You chose this."_

"_No," I screamed at the top of my lungs. _

"_They won't save you," I heard a whisper from the darkness behind me, "listen." I heard the howling again it seemed now to be getting further away as if the wolves had passed right by me and continued their chase. _

"_He doesn't want to save you," the voice whispered. The icy hands gripped my arms tighter causing a surge of pain through my body. I looked back up at Jake; he turned from me and disappeared into the forest._

"_No…please," I began to weep. My pleas were met with sinister laughter. _

"_No," I screamed, "JAKE!"_

_End dream sequence_

_

* * *

_

I sat up in my bed screaming. I could feel the sweat pouring down my forehead and I was nearly out of breath. I was startled when my dad burst into my room and came running to my bed side.

"Its okay," he sighed as he pulled me into a tight and comforting hug, "its okay sweetie it was just a bad dream." I rested my head upon his shoulder and began to cry. He kissed my forehead lightly and then began to rock me in his arms.

"Just relax baby girl," he whispered. I quieted down in the comfort of my fathers arms.

"Are you okay," he asked gently. I nodded my head as I wiped the tears from my cheeks.

"Do you want to talk about it," he asked. I pulled back from him with my eyes still watering. I shrugged slightly

"Not really," I whispered. He gazed at me with a worried expression.

"Okay," he sighed, "lay down…try to get some rest." He leaned toward me and kissed me on the forehead again.

"I'm here if you change your mind," he said. He then stood and headed toward the door of my room.

"Hey dad," I called out. He turned back to me just as he laid his hand on the door knob.

"Yeah," he whispered.

"Thanks," I replied, "I'm sorry I woke you up."

"It's alright kid," he whispered, "good night."

"Night," I replied. I lay my head upon my pillow and stared up at the ceiling for a long moment. I could feel tears welling up behind my eyes again. I kept replaying the dream in my mind, I could still see Jacob's face, looking at me as if I were already dead and then turning his back on me completely.

"_You want this….you chose this,"_ his words from my dream echoed through my mind. I sighed heavily as I tried to forget about my terrifying nightmare. I closed my eyes tightly in an attempt to fall asleep. Suddenly I felt a cold hand on my shoulder. I quickly sat up and nearly fell out of bed in the process. A pair of cold arms caught me and pulled me back onto the mattress.

"Are you okay," a familiar voice whispered. I looked up to see Edward's concerned face. I sighed heavily.

"You scared me," I whispered. He frowned.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, "I didn't mean to."

"It's alright," I whispered. I leaned up against the head board and gazed down upon the fluffy blanket.

"What were you dreaming about," he asked curiously. I shrugged trying to avoid his gaze.

"Nothing," I replied softly, "just a stupid nightmare." I looked up at him.

"How long were you here," I asked.

"Long enough to hear you screaming," he whispered back. I averted my eyes from his.

"Charlie came running so I ducked out of sight," he continued. I didn't reply to Edward. My mind was still consumed by the terrible nightmare. I could not stop replaying what Jacob had done in the dream; all I kept seeing was his cold expression and the look of pain he displayed as he gazed at me. Edward took my hand in his and squeezed it gently.

"I missed you today," he whispered. I smiled weakly and continued gazing down upon my comforter.

"Are you sure you are okay," he asked again, "you look like you want to cry." I shook my head and began to chew at my bottom lip as I fought back my tears.

"I'm fine," I lied, "everything is fine…I'm just…stressed I guess." I looked away from him again. He nodded slightly.

"Okay," he replied quietly. He leaned forward and kissed me on the cheek. He stood slowly.

"I'm going to go so you can get some sleep," he whispered, "I will see you tomorrow." He smiled warmly at me.

"I love you Bella." I gazed up at him. He gently ran his fingers through my hair.

"I love you too," I replied. I watched as he crawled out the window and disappeared. The moment he vanished from sight I let the tears I had been holding in wash over my face.

* * *

_Edward_

I stayed outside Bella's window for a few moments longer to make sure she fell back to sleep. It concerned me that she was having nightmares and I wanted to be sure she was getting enough rest. To my disappointment I instead heard her crying uncontrollably into her pillow. I could not understand why she made it seem like everything was fine when I had asked her what was wrong. Why she felt the need to fight back her tears while I was there. I felt helpless hearing her crying and not being allowed to console her. I wished I could hear her thoughts just to have some idea what was causing her pain. After nearly an hour she began to settle down so I decided to head home. As I jumped down from the roof I was met by a fierce growling coming from the woods directly across from Bella's house. I searched the trees and came upon the wolf hidden just beyond the shadows. It was Jacob, I could hear his thoughts. He was warning me away from the house. I raised my hands up as if calling a truce.

"It's okay," I called out to him, "I haven't done anything." The growling continued.

"She is upset," I continued, "but she won't tell my why."

"_Why was she screaming," _Jacobs thoughts were fierce, "_what did you do?" _I shook my head slightly as I continued to hold up my hands.

"She had a nightmare," I replied, "I don't know any more then that, she wouldn't tell me anything." The growling quieted down.

"I thank you for watching over her," I replied, "for keeping her protected."

"_I don't want you gratitude," _Jacob responded, _"I am protecting her from you."_

I nodded quietly.

"I understand that you feel that way," I replied, "but there are far worse things then me out there." Just then Jacob stepped forward from the trees in human form with his arms crossed. He glared at me with a look of pure hatred.

"As far as I'm concerned," he hissed, "you are all the same…filthy blood sucking scum. You don't belong here and you don't belong with her."

"Despite what you think," I replied, "I would never hurt Bella…and I would never let anything happen to her."

"No, you won't hurt her," Jacob replied, "because if you try I will tear you apart myself."

* * *

_1 week later_

_Jacob_

I slowly walked along the beach of La Push. The sun warmed my skin and the cool water felt good on my bare feet. I closed my eyes and breathed in the salty air. I had been away from home for a week. I avoided the pack, I wanted to be alone. I had been ignoring their calls up until this point and if Sam had not ordered me to return this morning I wouldn't have come back at all. As much as I wanted to stay away, I could not ignore the orders of the alpha.

As I walked along the beach I couldn't help but to think about Bella. I felt consumed by her. No matter what I did or where I went I was reminded of her and every memory felt like a knife in my heart. The pain in my chest remained just as strong as it had been the day I said goodbye to her. I kept replaying the events of that day in my mind over and over again. The choice to let her go was the hardest one I'd ever had to make. I'll never forget the hopeless feeling in the pit of my stomach as I walked away from her. I felt as if everything that mattered to me was lost, that my whole world was falling apart with every step that I took. Everything inside me screamed at me to go back, to fight for her, to win her back but I forced myself to keep going. She was where she wanted to be now and there was nothing I could do to change that. I chose to end our friendship but the bond between us seemed impossible to break. It was almost as if I were drawn to her by some invisible force. A force stronger then anything I had ever felt before. It was even stronger then my loyalty to the pack.

My thoughts were suddenly interrupted by the sound of howling in the distance. I glanced around at my surroundings, scanning the beach for signs of Sam and the others. I spotted them at the top of a cliff in the distance. The pack, in wolf form, stood glaring down at me with Sam positioned in the front. I stopped walking and gazed back up at my brothers. Suddenly they turned and ran back down the cliff disappearing from sight. Within seconds they were running down the sandy beach headed in my direction. When they reached me they all sat on their haunches and Sam made his way to the front once more. He stood before me and stared me straight in the eye. I averted my gaze quickly. He phased then and each member of the pack did the same.

"Good to have you back Jacob," Sam said unemotionally. I nodded slightly, still keeping my eyes on the sand.

"So what's going on," Sam questioned, "why haven't you been answering us." I glanced up at Sam briefly but kept my silence. The others stood behind him with their arms crossed glaring in my direction. Sam smirked slightly and shook his head. He glanced back toward the others and waved them away.

"Why don't you boys head over to Emily's," he said, "Jake and I will meet you there later. The others nodded in unison, phased one by one, and then took off running down the beach.

"Come on Jacob," Sam said as he patted me on the shoulder, "we need to talk."

"You know Emily was beside herself worrying about you," Sam continued, "and your father too."

"I'm sorry I didn't answer," I replied, "I just…I didn't want to…I couldn't leave…" Sam nodded.

"We are family Jake," he went on, "everyone in this pack is your brother now, you can't just abandon your family for some girl." I looked up at him in anger.

"Bella is my family too," I replied.

"No Jacob," Sam said sternly, "she isn't, she doesn't want you, she chose Cullen, remember."

"She doesn't know what she is doing," I yelled, "he is going to hurt her and I have to be there to protect her."

"She chose this Jake," Sam replied, "she wants to be one of them, she isn't worth protecting anymore." I could feel my anger boiling up inside with Sam's heartless words. I tried with all my strength to keep it controlled, the last thing I wanted to do was challenge the alpha. Sam glared at me, I kept my eyes down.

"She is not worth it Jake," Sam continued, "Do you really want to turn your back on this pack for some bloodsucking wannabe?" I blew up in that moment. Sam's words threw me over the edge. I phased quickly. I growled furiously in Sam's direction and glared at him. Sam stood motionless in human form glaring right back at me.

"Think about what you are doing," Sam replied, "do you really want to challenge me." He stared at me straight in the eye. I continued to glare back at him bearing my teeth now. Sam just continued to stand still.

"It's worse then I thought," he sighed, "you have already imprinted."

* * *

_To be continued…_


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

_Jacob _

Sam, in his human form, continued to stare me down. I glared back at him with my lips curled and snarling viciously.

"Don't be stupid Jake," Sam nearly growled. I growled in response. My fur began to stand on end and I crouched down into a defensive position.

"I warned you," Sam growled. He phased suddenly and began to growl at me.

"_You wanted a challenge,"_ Sam's thoughts were enraged, _"you got it."_ I snarled in response. Sam lunged at me and attempted to bite my neck. I jumped up on my hind legs and then came down on him in an attempt to bite his ear. He quickly swatted me with his paw and knocked me to the ground. I scrambled to my feet just before he had the chance to clamp down on my throat. I snarled furiously as I lunged in his direction. Sam lunged toward me at the same moment. We both attacked. Sam sank his teeth into my right front shoulder and ripped the flesh away. I howled in pain and fell back whimpering. I limped away quickly. I phased back into my human form and grasped my bloody shoulder tightly. It felt like it was on fire. I looked at the wound cautiously and winced at the sight of the gash. I looked back in Sam's direction just as he phased back into his human form. He walked over crossed his arms and glared down at me.

"Don't ever challenge me again," Sam spat. I glared up at him angrily but quickly turned my eyes away. He reached down and offered me a hand.

"Come on," he said as his voice grew calmer, "We'll have Emily take care of that." I glared at his hand for a long moment and then reluctantly took it. As he pulled me upward I winced at the sharp pain that tore through my shoulder.

I'm sorry," Sam continued," but you brought it on yourself."

Sam and I walked to Emily's house in silence but I couldn't stop thinking about what he had said earlier about Bella.

"_She chose this Jake_…_she wants to be one of them, she isn't worth protecting anymore."_

His words were like a knife to my very soul. Even though my rational mind knew that he was right, my heart did not want to hear the truth. I could not imagine Bella wanting to be one of those blood suckers….I could not understand why she would chose that fate, why she would chose death over life. I closed my eyes tightly and took a deep breath. She couldn't know the weight of her decision; she must not realize what she would be forced to give up. The Bella that I know…that I loved would never willingly walk away from her life or the people that loved her most. I thought back to Bella's words from earlier that week.

"_I love you Jake…please don't make me chose…because it will be him." _The memory made me want to cry. The pain in my heart was stronger now then it had ever been. I could not stand the thought that I was loosing her. Sam said that she wasn't worth protecting, but my heart would not allow me to give up on her so easily. I wanted to protect her; I needed to protect her. I would willingly give my last breath to keep her from becoming one of those monsters.

When we arrived at Emily's house, I could see the rest of the pack sitting on the ground outside talking. Embry looked up and noticed Sam and I walking up, he elbowed Paul. Before long they were all quiet and gazing in our direction.

"Go on in the house Jake," Sam said, "I'll be in shortly." I nodded quietly and headed inside. As I stepped inside my nostrils were filled with the aroma of fresh blueberry muffins. My stomach immediately began to grumble. I realized in that moment that I hadn't eaten in days. I walked into the kitchen and saw Emily bent over pulling a hot pan out of the oven. As she turned around and saw me standing there her eyes grew wide with fright.

"Oh my gosh Jake," Emily cried as she dropped the pan onto the table, "Are you okay…what happened." She quickly headed over to me and began to inspect my wound.

"Sit down," she said frantically, "let me see." She gently pulled my hand away to see the horrible gash." She winced at the sight of it. Just then Sam walked into the kitchen.

"Jesus Sam," she cried, "what the hell did you do to him?"

"Come on Em," Sam replied as he grabbed a muffin and flopped down into a chair across the table from me, "it's just a flesh wound."

"Just a flesh wound," Emily glared at Sam, "really…he's probably going to need stitches."

"Its fine," I interrupted, "it's my own fault anyway." Emily huffed and rolled her eyes.

"Here," she said as she handed me a hand towel, "put some pressure on it to stop the bleeding…I'm going to go get the first aid kit." She turned and headed into the next room. Sam tossed me a muffin from across the table. I caught it with one hand.

"What did you mean earlier," I questioned him, "about it being to late…that I had already _imprinted_." Sam leaned forward upon the table and gazed at me.

"Did you ever watch the Discovery Channel," Sam asked.

"Come on Sam, I'm serious," I replied impatiently. Sam chuckled slightly.

"The wolf," he paused a moment as if collecting his thoughts, "Wolves are one of the few creatures that stay with the same mate for their entire lives." I furrowed my brow slightly as I tried to decipher what exactly Sam was getting to.

"They say that when a wolf finds its future mate that something happens to it that bonds it to that mate forever…like finding a soul mate." I gazed at Sam curiously.

"It's the same for us," Sam went on, "we are no different then our descendents… we imprint on our future mates, the ones we are meant to be with for life." I sat back in my chair and shook my head slightly.

"So you are saying that I have _imprinted_," I questioned, "on _Bella_?" Sam nodded.

"Imprinting would be one of the only reasons that a wolf would challenge the alpha." I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly as the gravity of Sam's words sunk in.

"Why didn't you tell any of us about the whole imprinting thing before," I asked. Sam shrugged.

"I thought I had more time," he replied, "All of you are still just discovering your new abilities." He glanced over in my direction and smiled.

"Hey I'm sorry I said those things about Bella," he continued, "but I had to know for sure." I shook my head and gazed down at the oak table. It all made sense now, I chose to let Bella go…but I could not bring myself to leave her side…no matter what I did I always ended up near her house it explained why I felt so connected to her even though we were apart.

Just then Emily returned with the first aid kit. She pulled out a soapy wash cloth and gently pressed it to my wound.

"Ahh," I winced.

"Sorry," Emily replied apologetically. She began wrapping it up with a soft bandage.

I reached up and began chewing at my finger nails. It was a nervous habit I had acquired as a child.

"Alright good as new," Emily said. She quickly packed up the first aid kit and walked to the next room to put it away. I kept my eyes on the table. Sam gazed at me curiously.

"What's wrong Jake," Sam asked curiously.

"Nothing," I said coldly.

"You're still angry with me because of what I said," Sam questioned.

"I'm not angry," I huffed. I stood up quickly, walked over to the kitchen window and gazed out into nothing.

"Jake," Sam began. I turned and glared in his direction.

"I'm not angry," I snapped.

"Jake," Sam continued, "calm down."

"What am I supposed to do," I snapped again, "You said it yourself Sam…Bella doesn't want me; now you are telling me I've imprinted on her!"

"Jake," Sam began again, "sit down and relax." I reluctantly sat back down at the table and sighed heavily.

"So you and Emily….." I began. Sam glanced over at me slyly.

"I still remember the moment I imprinted," he replied, "I was at a party and I saw her across a room and it was like everyone else just disappeared, like we were the only two people in the universe. I knew I loved her that very moment."

I frowned slightly.

"What," Sam questioned.

"Nothing," I replied, "It's just….you make it sound like it was love at first sight."

"Yeah," Sam responded curiously.

"It wasn't like that for me and Bella at all," I replied, "I mean she has been my best friend forever; I've known her my whole life."

"The elder's say that you can imprint at any time in your life," Sam continued, "even as a young child but it goes unrealized until you are old enough to know what it means." I nodded slightly as I thought about what he had said. I wondered if it was possible to have imprinted on Bella when were still just children. I wondered if it were possible that she and I could really be soul mates since birth and if so then why would she have chosen Cullen instead of me. If we were meant to be then wouldn't she be feeling them same things I was, wouldn't she have chosen me.

"What about Emily," I questioned, "what was it like for her."

"She felt the same pull I did," Sam went on, "it's almost like a magnet pulling at you."

I continued to bite my nails as Sam spoke. Sam gazed at me empathetically. He leaned forward slightly.

"If she is your imprint," Sam said softly, "then she _is_ feeling the same pull as you; she might just be confused by it or afraid."

* * *

_1 week later_

_Edward_

I sat quietly at the piano. I had every intention of playing a little but as I sat there gazing at the keys, I could not help but to think about Bella. She seemed to be having nightmares every night now and I was extremely concerned. Even more so because of the fact that she was trying desperately to hide from me what ever it was that was causing her such pain. It was eating away at me and I didn't know what to do or how I could help her if she was refusing to let me in. I raised one of my hands and pressed my index finger on a random key. I sighed heavily and rubbed the side of my forehead vigorously.

"Are you alright Edward," a familiar voice echoed into the room. I turned back slightly to see Alice walking in. I smiled briefly and then turned my attention back to the piano keys. She gracefully sat down upon the bench beside me and placed her arm around my neck.

"What's wrong Edward," she asked," you haven't been yourself in a week."

"Bella," I began.

"Still having nightmares," Alice interrupted. I glanced over at her with a slightly annoyed expression." Alice looked back at me sheepishly.

"I'm sorry," she replied, "I shouldn't have interrupted you."

"It's alright," I sighed heavily and looked away, "I just don't know what to do."

Alice nodded as she listened.

"She won't tell me what is going on; she won't let me know what is upsetting her…how am I supposed to help her if she won't allow me to?"

"Maybe she is afraid to tell you," Alice suggested.

"Afraid," I questioned, "she knows she can tell me anything…why would she be afraid."

Alice shrugged.

"Well what if I tried to talk to her about it," she continued, "she might tell me."

"You would do that Alice," I replied.

"Of course I would," Alice went on, "I love Bella…I want to know what's going on just as much as you do."

"Thanks," I replied.

"What are sisters for," she smiled up at me happily, "don't worry…okay." I nodded to her as she got up from the bench and pranced out the door.

* * *

_Bella_

I sat upon the edge of my bed gazing at my reflection in my vanity mirror as I brushed my hair. I inspected myself carefully. I looked exhausted, my skin was pale and I had dark circles under my eyes. I sighed heavily. The nightmares I had been having seemed to be getting worse and the lack of a good night's sleep was taking its toll on me. I pulled my hair back and wrapped a rubber band around it resulting in a sloppy pony tail. I turned away from the mirror and flopped down upon my bed. I stared up at the ceiling. I closed my eyes for a moment. Bits and pieces of the dreams flashed through my mind. I could see Jacobs face, that expression of pain he displayed. I could feel tears welling up in my eyes again. I opened my eyes and quickly sat up. I looked over at my head board to see the dream catcher hanging over my pillow. I reached over and took it from the bed post.

"A lot of help you are," I sighed. I threw the dream catcher across the room in utter frustration. I stood up quickly and headed down stairs.

"Morning sweetheart," my father greeted me."

"Hey Dad," I replied softly.

"How are you feeling," he asked with concern in his voice.

"Fine…I guess," I responded. He smiled and put his arm around my shoulder.

"Come here," he continued as he lead me in the direction of the kitchen, "I want you to sit down and eat something today." He pulled out a chair and motioned for me to sit.

"Dad," I sighed, "I'm really not hungry…my stomach is bothering me."

"Bella," he looked at me sternly. I rolled my eyes and reluctantly sat down at the table. He leaned over me and kissed the top of my head.

"I worry about you kid," he sighed, "you need to eat…you look like your skin and bones." He placed a dish of what looked like an attempt at scrambled eggs down in front of me and handed me a fork. He sat down in front of me with his own dish and began to eat. I picked at my eggs with the fork as I gazed down upon the table. My father glanced at me in concern. I reluctantly put a forkful of eggs into my mouth.

"My cooking is not that bad is it," he joked. I smiled slightly. My father smiled back.

"What," I questioned.

"Nothing," he reached across the table and took my hand, "just haven't seen you smile in a while…I kinda wish you would do it more often." He stood up with his empty plate and placed it in the sink.

"Alright," he said, "I gotta run to the station for a bit."

"I thought you had off today," I asked.

"Yeah me too," he smiled, "I should only be a few hours and then after that it's game time!"

"Sure dad," I replied.

"Stay out of trouble and that plate better be empty too," he headed out the door. I forced down the rest of my eggs and then headed to the sink to wash the dishes.

When I was finished I headed back up to my room. I flopped down on my bed on my stomach and stared out into nothing. My eyes came to rest on the dream catcher I had thrown across the room earlier. It lay on the floor just under the window. My mind drifted back to the day Jacob had given it to me.

_Flashback_

"_Hey Bella," a familiar voice called out as I started to walk to my class. I turned to see Jacob's smiling face._

"_Jacob," I smiled back, "what are you doing here."_

"_I was in the neighborhood and I had something for you," he smiled, "so I figured I would drop by." He reached in his pocket and pulled out the dream catcher. I took it from him and held it up to the light. _

"_It's a dream catcher," he said, "It helps to keep your bad dreams away."_

"_Thanks Jake," I smiled up at him._

"_Happy Birthday Bella," he replied._

_End Flashback_

I sighed heavily at the far off memory of Jacob. I wished that I could see his smiling happy face now, instead of the painful one I had to see every night in my dream. I stood up, walked over to the opened window and bent down to pick up the dream catcher. I gazed at the little trinket. I missed Jacob terribly. I turned my eyes to the open window and gazed out into the woods across from my house. I thought back to the day in the park, the day our friendship ended.

_"I don't want to be friends anymore Bella, don't you understand…it's not enough anymore."_ His words flashed through my mind. I remembered him leaning closer to me resting his forehead upon mine and gazing at me.

_"I love you… you are everything to me...and I can't…I won't watch you with him…it hurts too much." _The memory made my heart ache and I could feel tears welling up behind my eyes. I closed them tightly and took a deep breath. I remembered how his words had struck me in that moment. How my heart fluttered with his words and at the same time my stomach was tied up in knots. I loved Jacob, I loved him deeply he was my best friend and was possibly becoming more then that, but I loved Edward too and the thought of hurting him was too painful to bear. My heart felt like it was being torn apart.

_To be Continued…_


End file.
